Ever since you can remember, your parents, aunts, uncles, and teachers have all probably been teaching you the basics of common courtesy. For instance, they might say, “Honey, when we reach your grandpa’s house, you should greet and kiss everyone there on the cheek.” Whenever you go to school, the adults might tell you to “share your stuff with your classmates.” They may even want you to befriend and be kind to everyone in the class.
While those are all acts of politeness that can ease your life in the future, there is one common courtesy that you should not always obey: saying sorry for everything you do or voice out.
The thing is since you are young, some people older than you expect you not to talk back to them. You are not supposed to fight with other kids either; you should make up immediately even if you don’t feel like so. Doing the opposite of that will allow everyone to brand you as a brat or an ill-mannered teenager. However, there are still exclusions to that rule.
You never need to feel sorry for:
- Telling Your Opinions
As mentioned above, people tend to dislike teens who speak their mind. In case you overhear your parents having a serious conversation that involves yourself, and you voice out a thought that might clear the problem, you may not receive a “thank you” from the adults. You might hear stuff like “You are only a child. What do you know?” or “Go play with your friends.”
Instead of apologizing for that, you should stand your ground and explain you said. Of course, the adults will think you are ridiculous – most mature individuals believe that we have no clue about how the world revolves unless we become adults. Despite that, once you keep on pressing and being sensible, they will eventually learn to value your opinion. As Deborah Khoshaba Psy.D. wrote in an article, “If your intention is to live a meaningful and healthy life, you will make decisions that support this intention, and feel good about yourself when you succeed in this purpose.”
- Saying No
There are plenty of teenagers who feel sorry for saying no to others who ask for favors from them. In their head, that can mean the end of a friendship they have always wanted to have. It can change how others might look at them. It might attract bullies too, which are frequently seen in any school.
Nevertheless, you do not have to lower your head and apologize profusely for not being able to fulfill anyone’s request. You are a regular teenager who probably has academic work and after-school activities to do. You cannot accomplish all of that and still try to please everybody because that will exhaust you eventually. Counselor Monte Drenner explained that “People who have difficulty saying no are often people pleasers and are trying to make too many people happy,” says Drenner. “Over time they become over-extended and exhausted and their self-esteem is eroded, because no matter how hard they try to please others, they can never do enough.”
- Loving Your Hobbies
In almost every mainstream show, there is a girl or boy who lives a double life. During the day, they are the sporty type whom everyone wants to become. When the night falls, they turn into geeks who love to read comic books and reenact their favorite cartoon scenes till the wee hours.
If we’re honest, you should not feel apologetic at all for liking two different hobbies at once. You can be popular at school and stay as a nerd if that’s what makes you happy. It would help if you did not have to hide your interests – they are a part of you, and nothing will change that.
- Looking Like Yourself
It breaks our hearts a little to see teenage girls covering their faces with makeup or asking strangers to fund their boob job when they are old enough to get it done. That merely entails that, at such a young age, they already want to conform to the beauty standards that narcissistic folks have imposed in the society. They have no interest either in keeping their natural features.
“We only have control of ourselves and our own desire for growth and change.” Nikki Martinez, Psy.D. LCPC said. The truth is that you should never be sorry for looking like yourself. Regardless of what you think of your complexion, facial shape, or overall physical appearance, you are a gorgeous person. You may not realize it now, but remember that what others find attractive at present may already be average in the future. Just wait for the world to recalibrate its standard of beauty before you make irreversible changes on your aesthetics.
We can mention a few more things that teens tend to feel sorry for all the time, but the ones mentioned earlier are the most common. The point is, you can be courteous, generous, kind, and everything else your family wants you to be. However, you should not be the type to apologize for stuff you have the right to say or do as that will give others a chance to walk over you.